Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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