OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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