Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
