i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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