I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize