Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
