i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
