dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
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Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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