Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I want to be your penis for a week.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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