cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
