In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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