Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I will die if light touches me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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