He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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