I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
