Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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