can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
