No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
