I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
