my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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