She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?