Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you