While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS