i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila