dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok