can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
