I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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