the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize