why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize