nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
