Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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