I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize