are you so shy because you have an std?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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