i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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