how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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