Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
honey bunches of taint.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
