I'm retarded. Again.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA