I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats