Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's not a walk of shame if you run