I hate your face
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.