he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.