She is in my trunk
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
