While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
