problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
