oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When are your genitals available?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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