maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
