Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All the doctor said was why
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
