Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
