Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
