careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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