no, he came in my armpit
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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