areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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