it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I cut my penus on the lid.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
