No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
