im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
