Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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