Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
