i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
