you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it's like heaven, but drunker
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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