the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
