It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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