It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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