I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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