if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
