So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he puts the penis in happiness.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
