You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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