I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
