Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly

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  (970): Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly http://tfl.nu/eo7f
  Replies (71) Good night (586) Bad night (6757)
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  (585): View more from New York

  It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.

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  (585): It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight. http://tfl.nu/zyt9
  Replies (10) Good night (3366) Bad night (849)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.

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  (702): I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers. http://tfl.nu/kck1
  Replies (6) Good night (2196) Bad night (1012)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.

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  (608): He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake. http://tfl.nu/cs4d
  Replies (7) Good night (3677) Bad night (1115)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.

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  (314): Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day. http://tfl.nu/blek
  Replies (4) Good night (3151) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

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  (919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo
  Replies (7) Good night (3268) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.

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  (613): You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best. http://tfl.nu/snhs
  Replies (5) Good night (2742) Bad night (1673)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag

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  (330): Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag http://tfl.nu/ebgx
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (2024)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.

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  (214): My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/7yfd
  Replies (4) Good night (1857) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter

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  (432): Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter http://tfl.nu/o41k
  Replies (10) Good night (2096) Bad night (532)
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  (925): View more from California

  You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.

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  (925): You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure. http://tfl.nu/nboc
  Replies (4) Good night (541) Bad night (1001)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.

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  (720): Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there. http://tfl.nu/6pek
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

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  (607): I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know. http://tfl.nu/l46m
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick

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  (770): I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick http://tfl.nu/l70j
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

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  (306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (200)

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