absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
stop calling my apartment porn island.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
