why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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