We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.