Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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