I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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