Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
