After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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