I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
