Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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