Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
