he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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