Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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