my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize