I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
