If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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